Paul Jarvis

Push Fear

Fear plays you against yourself. It can’t actually do anything to you, but it makes you think that it’s the biggest, baddest bully in the playground, who’ll slap you down if you stand out enough for fear to notice you.

Fear only has the power you give it. It’s power is making you get too afraid to try something. So if you’re afraid but try something any way, it doesn’t have any power.

I’m, almost literally, afraid of everything. Leaving my house, people, groups of people, heights, flying, sharing my writing, being criticized, talking to people, to name a small few of them. And if there’s something I’m not aware I’m afraid of and you ask if I’m afraid of it, I’ll probably develop a fear of it right there on the spot.

One time I wrote down all my main fears. It was a big list. Only one of two them had the potential to result in my death. Both those weren’t very likely situations either. The rest would, at worst, bruise my ego and make me look bad.

These fears don’t stop me from trying things. Things I sometimes fail at and then my fear is realized. Sometimes I look stupid doing them. And I haven’t died yet.

But I face my fears and push towards them each time. I continue to leave my house, exist in groups, write and publish things. I keep trying to innovate, create new things, and push my limits.

I start small at first, with small pushes. I know that being afraid and continuing down a path doesn’t have to be mutually exclusive. I work up to medium pushes. Fear still can’t do anything I don’t let it do. Then I push harder. Don’t worry, fear can take it, and fear can’t fight back.

push, Push, PUSH.

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